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Awkward80swoman

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Maybe [Oct. 30th, 2009|10:34 am]
Awkward80swoman
[Current Location |520 Madison]
[mood |accomplishedaccomplished]



Some stranger responded to my last livejournal post today...a post from May 2006.

Re-reading that post blew my mind. I have completely forgotten what is was like in Fullerton; how it felt to be constantly working for tomorrow and not only not enjoying the present but pretty much hating it (except of course for my love of Rebessica).

At this point in my life, I had never lived with Kyle.  I had never been to Brooklyn. I had yet to let go of all of my rage and anger at Cal State Fullerton. I ate alone a lot.  I hated driving and lived with the stress of it constantly.  The Sex and the City movie had yet to soil my love of those four girls. I had no idea that I'd be living in Paris for 6 mths. I loved Brandon and assumed our friendship would last forever. Voisiene, Becky Mae and Sophia were just twinkling stars somewher in outerspace. I had never seen CocoRosie live. I'd lost my humor confidence. Molly was still alive. I wasn't a vegan.  I had no idea that Kyle had such a green thumb. I had never seen what an exploded can of peaches can do to a kitchen. I had never hiked through the hills of Italy or gone to a zoo in Amsterdam. I had never said the word blowjob on stage. I had never heard of the Institue for Integrative Nutrtion. I had never done silly, gibberish digi-theater. I did not know the joy of morning cuddles....the list just goes on and on.

The thing that this entry really made me remember was the feeling of not being sure that any of the above would ever happen. And it did and SO MUCH MORE. I'm so different then I was, so much happier and alive but also after reading a few more posts, I am so surprised that at the core,  I'm still an awkward80sgirl. And will be one 4Evah!

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(no subject) [May. 7th, 2006|06:22 pm]
Awkward80swoman
[mood |amusedamused]
[music |Modest Mouse]

Three weeks and three days.
18 classes.
Five Finals.
At least two angry good-bye letters.

And then...I will be done.
After four years, all of which seem like a colorful blur, I will leave the little town of Fullerton to do better things.

Although I hate Cal State Fullerton and am ready to never look back, there are a few things I will miss: Rutabagores, Goldenspoon, Newport and Laguna, 99 cent store, my apartment and most of all Jessica and Rebecca. But besides that...good riddance is what I say.

So as of now, I welcome summer with open arms and ask it to hurry itself up a bit.
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I've never felt quite THIS bored... [Mar. 14th, 2006|01:11 pm]
Awkward80swoman
[mood |boredbored]

I'm at work.
It's no fun.
In fact, I hate it.
I don't like school either.
I got a "body wave."
It looks frizzy and nappy.
But I kinda look like I'm half black.
Which is real cool.
10 more days and things shall be better.
Much much better...
I just don't know if I can wait that long.
Oh god. I can't wait that long.

Oh my god.
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I have a confession: [Mar. 2nd, 2006|08:56 am]
Awkward80swoman
[mood |anxiousanxious]

I don't care anymore. I am graduating soon; everything is in order and really, now, all I need to do is get D's in all of my classes...which due to this weird little organism in my brain, I just can't do...but I can get a colorful array of A's, B's and C's. I just don't want to be here anymore, working hard at things I don't care about. It's been four...or three and a half...years of this and I'm fucking done. It is as simple as that my friends!!! Simple as that!
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Thank the lord. [Dec. 17th, 2005|02:53 am]
Awkward80swoman
[mood |rejectedrejected]

It's over. It's all over.
This hell semester is over.
One more.
And it shall truly be over.

Thank the lord.
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so long it has been... [May. 11th, 2005|12:34 pm]
Awkward80swoman
[mood |awakeawake]

It's been so long...For about three seconds I could not remember how to create an entry. I'm in between classes and could be doing so many things but all I want to do is make a list of things (things that I should be doing...but currently am not) that are due. I was just going to write it in my notebook...but I thought...hey! why not in my live journal? It'll give Kyle, Lulu and (sometimes) Brandon something to read.

Acting:
Portia Monologue presentation 5/13X
Entire Jury package presentation 5/16X
South Coast Rep review 5/20X
JURIES 5/23!!!!X

World Theatre B:
Important of Being Earnest scene (it's already done and taped...we just have to show it to the class) 5/16X
Character analysis for Bracknell 5/18X
Take home essay due 5/23X
Final 5/23X

Anthro:
Field essays to make up?....5/?????X
Abstract encounter report 5/18X
Actual 5-10 page (ohhhh mine will be five) Encounter report 5/18X
Final 5/25
*I really don't care about this class...I already filled this requirement and am somewhat okay with failing.

Audio:
Record cues project onto minidisk 5/12X
Final project (dear lord, I have not started) 5/24X
Weird Romance audio review 5/19X
Final 5/17X

History 110a:
Final: 5/24

Shakespeare:
Macbeth scene (Scene fest 2005) 5/24
Written work due...5/24

And that's that...not too bad...I just want it all to be other with...Juries especially!!!!! The weeks are going by so quickly and instead of feeling annoyed and overwhelmed, I am happy and excited because the quicker the time goes...the closer summer gets and...ahhh...summer...
Summer=freedom=ocean=love=summer...it's a cyclical cycle which will bring me so much joy the next 3 MONTHS!!!!
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A tickle in my nose. [Dec. 1st, 2004|12:04 am]
Awkward80swoman
[mood |touchedtouched]
[music |A beautEous CD by K. Knies]

I should not be here.
But it's been too long so I figure now is the time.
I got the most amazing package from Kyle.
I'm listening to his CD for the third time as my mouth tastes of pear/dark chocolate. MMMM...


      
tall girls are love
brought to you by the isLove Generator
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(no subject) [Oct. 24th, 2004|10:53 pm]
Awkward80swoman
[mood |optimisticoptimistic]
[music |Rilo Kiley]

It's been a hellish hell month but now here we are (we being Jessica and I) alone in our apartment...it's just the two of us and much fun has already been had. After a crazy/weird/bad/fun show (which included an angry standard american, some awkward improving, and a dead audience), I came home with the happy news that our scenes are not due tomorrow...so we celebrated by making a saucy peanut stir fry while drinking white wine out of plastic glasses and then ate it while watching a steamy sexed up episode of Roswell.
I loved seeing my family this weekend. They amaze me and make me feel so wonderful.
I can start to feel the craziness of my life die down...no more midterms, not much homework, and one more week of shows. I might have to crew after that...but lets not talk about it. I'm feeling pretty happy...it could just be the fact that for the first time in a month I'm not horribly overwhelmed...well whatever...it feels good.
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The ABCs of right now [Oct. 14th, 2004|04:30 pm]
Awkward80swoman
[mood |amusedamused]
[music |I'm your man- Lizzie West.]

A: All the kids in my show love 80s music, like hardcore love it. So that's what we listen to while getting ready. Perfection I say.
B: Bubba and Nanny sent me a package of souvenirs they got me from Spain.
C: Cordoba is a place in Spain they visited. The package contained a hip old fashioned Spanish water bottle from Cordoba.
D: Day in the Death of Joe Egg opens tomorrow. I'm excited/nervous/really really happy.
E: Eating is something I haven't taken much joy in lately. I'm always on the go and literally stuff my face with gross leftovers (other peoples leftovers) while running out the door.
F: Fat is what I will soon be do to my disgusting eating habits.
G: Good news, I got an A on my Psych midterm.
H: Hopefully I did that well on my bio test.
I: I doubt it.
J: Jake is the first person I've ever really wanted to beat up. It would be easy, he's small and weak.
K: Kyle and I are flying to Paris together in January for my birthday. Thinking about it makes me so excited that I feel as if I could explode.
L: Lulu is an important missing link in my life. I desperately want to cuddle on our couch, watch a marathon of Boy Meets World and eat Tomato/Spinach soup with her.
M: My parents have been the most amazing people over these past two weeks. I wish I could buy them a house in Los Gatos with a Spa and pool and a wine cellar.
N: Nanny put holy water in the package she sent me. It came with a note from her that said it should be used sparingly for special wishes. I fully plan on following her instructions.
O: On October 20th I'm going to see Rachel Yamagata in Hollywood with Teresa.
P: Politics blows my mind. I got my little postcard saying that I was registered to vote in Orange County. I'm so ready.
Q: Quadriplegic is not the correct term for Joe Egg. She's technically a wegetable.
R: Right now I should be doing homework and cleaning the kitchen...but I like this much better.
S: Sometime this weekend I will see I Heart Huckabee's. I never break a pact.
T: Two weeks from now my mom, dad, nanny and bubba will be here. I miss them all so much. Then a week after that my little Brandon love will be here and we will dance and play in the pool and laugh and sing about being a super model and he will laugh at me when he sees me in my costume and makeup. It shall be wondrous.
U: Unfortunately Kyle and Lulu can't come. But I fully intend on performing my entire monologue for them over winter break.
V: Vamanos muchacha (I'm saying that to myself due to the fact that I really must go).
W: Why aren't there more hours in the day; 24 ain't enough.
X: Xander Harris is my favorite Buffy character.
Y: Yesterday I realized that I've classically conditioned myself to think of Buffy while eating Japanese food or to crave Japanese food while watching Buffy. Call me Pavlov.
Z: Zen zats all. Ze End. (Picture me saying this like an intense Viennese scientist.)
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(no subject) [Oct. 4th, 2004|11:12 pm]
Awkward80swoman
[mood |blahblah]
[music |Radio Head-Black Star]

My purse was stolen at my friend Katie's party this weekend. Not something I really needed right now. So this entire week I have stupid errands to run and new things to buy so I can slowly rebuild my life. I guess things could always be worse...atleast I wasn't arrested. I'm unmotivated to do homework; unmotivated at school in general (minus acting and my show, ohh and yoga too). We did headstands today, in spite of my height I did quite well; I got up, held it for a couple seconds and then fell over into a graceful somersault. I also enjoy my children's literature class, so what I really mean is that I'm unmotivated in Biology, Biology Lab, and Pyschology. I become a narcoleptic vegetable. No me gusta. Uck...tomorrow I have to go to the VW dealership and get a new key for my car; it's far away and gonna cost a lot of money...no me gusta tambien. My parents are pretty amazing when it comes to stuff like this; I find it funny that when I'm away they forget that I make them crazy, and I think I do the same with them. That's one of the joys of my memory...I'm really good at forgetting the bad and improving the good. It's my gift; well that and headstands.
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